Quarterlife+


Love is an action causing verb

Posted in Aging by Ashley Franklin on December 30, 2009
Tags: , , , ,

This year I want to make a New Year’s resolution that I can stick to. I want my resolution to be something that will not only better myself, but make a positive impact on someone else as well. While I do want to lose weight this year, to me, that’s not resolution worthy. I think a resolution should be something you can easily do but you still have to put effort towards. I don’t even remember what my resolution was for last year really. I do remember beginning the year with certain goals in mind, but they were goals I’d made for myself before the New Year. I guess it’s a good thing they weren’t resolutions because I didn’t adhere to a couple of them.

Last year I’d unofficially resolved to remain love abstinent. Thanks to a certain Southern gentleman, that didn’t quite happen. I must say, though, that I put up a good fight. Being in love this time around has been an eye-opener. It’s shown me what I’ve been missing, what I may have had and never known, and what I need. If nothing else, I’ve learned that love isn’t really an emotion. It’s a way of life. It’s an active way of life. Just like anything else you dedicate yourself to, you have to stay committed. Being an active participant in love has not always been easy. Anything really worth having is hardly ever easy.

I mean, what is love anyway? I’m sure Webster has a definition, but still. This past year, my definition of love has drastically changed. Love is hope, compassion, trust, fear, honesty, and faith. Love is everything that is good. It is everything that works towards being good. Love is everything but perfect.

I’ve found that it’s hard to love someone in a bubble. You can’t really be bitter towards or disinterested in the rest of the world and magically find the ability to fully love a single person. To love one person, you have to have some practice at loving others. Well, you should at least have a proven track record of being highly tolerable of others. (Sometimes it’s all about baby steps, you know.)

Why don’t I consider love an emotion? I think that would make love an effect. Aren’t emotions effects? They happen because something causes them, right? To me, that makes love seem too helter-skelter. I think love is methodical. You may not know it at first, but once you’re in it, you can look back and see the signs that it was coming. But if love isn’t an effect, that means it is a cause. The actions and efforts put forth between my Southern gentleman and myself are love. The effects? All those other overwhelming emotions that when we add them up, we name them love.

Thinking about my love life got me thinking. Maybe I could put this to use in other ways. Maybe there’s something to that love thy neighbor thing I’ve heard about so many times before. If I could tap into that same source of love that I discovered once I began talking to my Southern gentleman, just maybe I could transfer some of it towards others. It feels awesome loving my Southern gentleman. Imagine how great I could feel if I showed a little bit of love towards others (obviously not on the same level as I do him, but a little love just the same). Maybe I could add a few more smiles to the world. Smiles are a pretty good effect in my opinion. All I need to do now is figure out how to love others. A few kind words or a helpful hand seem like a nice start.

Love is a verb. It’s an action verb. Maybe you like that more than when I suggested it was a cause. Then again, maybe they could mean the exact same thing.  My resolution for this year is to love.

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3 Responses to 'Love is an action causing verb'

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  1. twentysomething83 said,

    Umm..how did I miss this post? Loved it. Might steal it..or link to it at any rate.

    • transego said,

      I’m not sure how you missed it. Just don’t let this type of thing happen again (smile). I’m glad you liked it; thanks for reading.

      • twentysomething83 said,

        Yeah man I been slacking on my internet stalking. I decided not to link it, bcus I didn’t know if you wanted all your beeswax out there like that, but I really rally enjoyed this post. Much to think about.


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