Quarterlife+


There’s no “i” in we

Posted in Life,Life changes by Ashley Franklin on July 3, 2010
Tags: , , ,

There’s no i in we, but there are two i’s in decision. I’ve been married for two months now. It’s not a long time in the grand scheme of life, but every married day has been an adventure. It’s a balancing act when you’re still learning yourself and you’re trying to learn someone else all at the same time. In moments of frustration, I’ve had to ask myself if I am really upset at him or myself. A surprising amount, I’ve found that I am usually upset with myself.

Our marriage motto: Teamwork makes the dream work. Yes, it’s trite, but it works. I’ve recently come to realize our motto needs a few sub-mottoes or a.k.a.s tossed into the mix (at least for me anyway). As a couple, you have to think like a couple and not two single people added together. Yeah, think about that. Let it simmer for a minute. It has taken some time to simmer with me, so I don’t mind waiting.

Sub- motto 1: There’s no i in team, but there are two i’s in decision.

My decisions don’t only affect me anymore. How I spend my money, how I ignore or stalk my credit, the attitude I’m sporting for the day, they all matter. We are legally and emotionally bonded.

Sub-motto 2: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

I probably wouldn’t know what a gander is if it wasn’t for this saying. And now that I think about it, the phrase “take a gander” completely confuses me now. But, I digress. Neither one of us is better than the other. One of us may be slightly better at some things, but that doesn’t make that person better in totality. So in any situation, if something is good enough for him, it should be good enough for me (and vice versa).

Sub-motto 3: Feelings and opinions are like oil and water.

They tend not to mix well unless you’re making a cake. I’m super emotional. I’m super emotional to the point that I should probably have a warning label. Conversations don’t go too smoothly if you can’t express your feelings without getting bent out of shape and overly emotional at every other word.

These sub-mottoes are more for me than my hubby. I’m a detail person, so sometimes I need a little more to understand/function/be reasonable. Maybe these will change the longer we’re married. Maybe we won’t even need them anymore. Maybe we’ll be just that in tune with each other. Only time will tell, and I plan on enjoying the time it takes to figure it all out.

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One Response to 'There’s no “i” in we'

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  1. twentysomething83 said,

    Good post. I think I’m learning the same things even though I’m not married, and it’s hard. Especially the part where you’re trying to figure out yourself in all of it. Like you said though, the key is enjoying the time it takes to figure it all out.


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