Quarterlife+


Amazon.com, be my valentine

To my dear Amazon.com,

I must say that our romance has come as a bit of a shock. I had no intentions of becoming involved in any more serious interactions. Alas, as the fates would have it, I felt a painful tingling in my arms. How could I ignore such a feeling? I was nearly driven to madness as I searched for a way to relieve the pain. But you, you stood out in the Google Shopping search results with your Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000. At nearly half the price of everyone else, you stood as a beacon-willing my debit card from my purse.

“How quickly you came!” I thought as the giant brown box appeared on my doorstep (four days before it was expected) It was a rapturous moment tearing through the package you’d sent.

Yet our affair didn’t end there. It was only beginning. Days later I ordered some camcorder tapes. I don’t even own a camcorder. They were for someone else in need, but I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Just yesterday, on the eve of a day where the nation takes time to recognize love, I had to rely on you again. My cell phone battery forsook me in ways you never would. Verizon wanted 40 bucks for a new battery. I doubt my phone is even worth that much. You, you came through again. You offered a battery for less than 4. Dependable and true!

I pray you continue to be good to me Amazon.com, as I believe you will. So with a full and humble heart, I ask you, will you be my valentine?

 

Love Always,

A satisfied customer

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2 Responses to 'Amazon.com, be my valentine'

Subscribe to comments with RSS or TrackBack to 'Amazon.com, be my valentine'.

  1. e said,

    My dear sweet Ashley,

    May you always stay true.

    ROTFLMBO

  2. Bro. Waliiy said,

    I’m soooooooooo jealous….


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