Quarterlife+


Why it was easy for me to stop going to church (Part 1)

Posted in Uncategorized by Ashley Franklin on July 17, 2015
Tags: , , , , , , ,

There is actually a crazy long reason as to why I so easily stopped going to church despite it being all I had ever known. Let’s be real. Ain’t nobody got time for all that! So, I offer them up to you, one at a time. Here goes:

Reason #1: I was only going out of habit (i.e. obligation).

I”m not sure about some of these kids nowadays, but when I was coming up, you went where your parents went by default when it came to religion. There weren’t options! Growing up, I went to church with my grandma because I lived with her. When I lived with my mom as a teen, I went to church with her and my stepdad. Why? I lived there and it was their church.

While some habits are hard to break, this wasn’t one of them. When you’re doing something that you’d rather not be doing for numerous years, it’s rather easy to stop and never look back. This is especially true if you know that you’re not having the same experience as those around you, which leads me to my next reason.

Reason #2: I was emotionally invested but not spiritually connected.

There’s nothing like good church music! With just a few notes, you can feel good about everything in your life or feel bad about everything in your life. It was joyous seeing people excited, praising, and worshiping at every service. It was depressing seeing (or sometimes being) the person at the altar snotty, wailing, and broken. How can I say that I was emotionally connected but not spiritually connected? I was always in the moment. After the moment passed, I didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t feel like my life was headed in a new direction. I didn’t feel burdens being shed. I felt like I’d had an experience for a few hours and that experience was now over.

I might as well have gone to the movies.

(I’ll leave it at this for now. What made me decide to talk about this now? I’m trying to write about other things, and this is taking up mental space. Besides, a little reflection never hurt anybody. I highly suggest it if you don’t do it already. I think it helps to know why you do and don’t do things. How about you?)

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8 Responses to 'Why it was easy for me to stop going to church (Part 1)'

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  1. Pinkjumpers said,

    Hehe, great post! I look forward to part two. 🙂
    And I totally agree with you about church music, despite being an atheist myself.

    • transego said,

      Thanks! Part 2 is coming next week.

  2. tjustincomer said,

    You actually saw people crying at church? Wow! I’ve only seen a couple tears, but never a full on cry… let alone the snotting and wailing and all.

    • transego said,

      Thanks for reading! A full-on cry is normal at the churches I’ve been to. I think the church environment or atmosphere largely depends on the denomination. I’ve been to some doozies!

      Youtube is a gold mine. I dare you to look up Pentecostal church. The “praise breaks” are the best though.

      • tjustincomer said,

        I actually went to a Charismatic church for a while. There were tears, but never some one breaking down and weeping. You have to remain dignified, ya know?

      • transego said,

        Dignity in worship..there’s an excellent point! I think that some go the other way and believe church is where you can let loose because you should just be focusing on your experience with God. But geez, there are other folk around you that won’t hesitate to look at you crazy the second after you regain your composure.

        I think that was a huge barrier for me. Many of the things I saw did seem undignified or sometimes even silly to me. I think that’s where individual personality comes in. Maybe that’s why there are so many churches and religious institutions.

  3. lynettedavis said,

    “I was emotionally invested but not spiritually connected.” Good insight. I’m convinced that our spiritual growth happens away from the church and not on Sunday morning.

    • transego said,

      I agree. I believe it’s more about establishing a personal relationship. Thanks so much for reading!


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