Why it was easy for me to stop going to church (Part 1)

Posted in Uncategorized by Ashley Franklin on July 17, 2015
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There is actually a crazy long reason as to why I so easily stopped going to church despite it being all I had ever known. Let’s be real. Ain’t nobody got time for all that! So, I offer them up to you, one at a time. Here goes:

Reason #1: I was only going out of habit (i.e. obligation).

I”m not sure about some of these kids nowadays, but when I was coming up, you went where your parents went by default when it came to religion. There weren’t options! Growing up, I went to church with my grandma because I lived with her. When I lived with my mom as a teen, I went to church with her and my stepdad. Why? I lived there and it was their church.

While some habits are hard to break, this wasn’t one of them. When you’re doing something that you’d rather not be doing for numerous years, it’s rather easy to stop and never look back. This is especially true if you know that you’re not having the same experience as those around you, which leads me to my next reason.

Reason #2: I was emotionally invested but not spiritually connected.

There’s nothing like good church music! With just a few notes, you can feel good about everything in your life or feel bad about everything in your life. It was joyous seeing people excited, praising, and worshiping at every service. It was depressing seeing (or sometimes being) the person at the altar snotty, wailing, and broken. How can I say that I was emotionally connected but not spiritually connected? I was always in the moment. After the moment passed, I didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t feel like my life was headed in a new direction. I didn’t feel burdens being shed. I felt like I’d had an experience for a few hours and that experience was now over.

I might as well have gone to the movies.

(I’ll leave it at this for now. What made me decide to talk about this now? I’m trying to write about other things, and this is taking up mental space. Besides, a little reflection never hurt anybody. I highly suggest it if you don’t do it already. I think it helps to know why you do and don’t do things. How about you?)


Family Magentas

Posted in Life by Ashley Franklin on January 1, 2011
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It’s New Year’s Eve. Ever since I’ve been on this Earth, I’ve spent every New Year’s Eve at church. This holds true with maybe an exception of 2. This year I’m spending a quiet evening at home. Well, it’s not really all that quiet. The neighbors have been setting off firecrackers for the past two hours. Throughout the day I’ve been thinking back to past New Year’s Eves. Sometimes the day was filled with shopping for an outfit to wear to the evening church service. There was always a day time nap. Eating chicken and waffles became a ritual maybe 10 or so years ago.

When I think back to those times, I don’t get sad. That’s why I can’t say that I get the blues. I get kind of a fond, warm feeling. It’s more like magenta. Mind you, I wasn’t always fond of dragging myself to church or mixing up waffle batter or deep frying chicken. Still, the memories are there. The events were my constants.

Obviously, I’m not at church today. Do you know where I did go? I went to the mosque for the first time since I got married. That was earlier this evening.  Overall, it was a good experience. I may talk about it more in another post.

Another reason that I can’t feel blue is because I don’t feel lonely.  I really have nothing to be blue over. My time is occupied recalling and looking forward to making more magenta moments.