Quarterlife+


How to live w/ the SCOTUS decision AND not be a jerk (in 5 easy steps)

Posted in Uncategorized by Ashley Franklin on June 26, 2015
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Yes, this (marriage equality) is a huge topic today. How to deal with the decision (rather you agree with it or not) can be summed up in 5 easy steps:

1) Don’t be a jerk. Nobody likes jerks. There’s no need for name-calling or condemning people to Hell. The first isn’t nice. The second isn’t in your job description.

2) If you believe that the world needs prayer at this fine time, by all means pray! Prayer for all it’s worth. Many people are familiar with the phrase “Pray until something happens.” You can still do that. Pray until you find peace in your heart and happiness in your life. While you’re at it, pray for peace in the world. There can NEVER be too many prayers for that.

3) Remember not to stomp on someone’s rights to uphold your own.

4) Remember that there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. Stay in your lane.

5)  Love! We all may not all agree on how life is supposed to be lived, but we can love each other and treat each other with respect while we’re sharing this limited space on Earth.

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The Big Day for Sexy

Posted in Life,Life changes by Ashley Franklin on February 14, 2012
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As V-Day approached, I found the commercials increasingly annoying. Now it’s here. At 30 some weeks pregnant, how much sexy can I possibly pull off? I haven’t seen any Motherhood commercials sporting a giant bellied Momma all dolled up for this national day of love. Why is that? Well, obviously, the sexy has already happened! You try striking a few sexy poses with someone jabbing and kicking at you from the inside. Let’s see just how long that sexy pose lasts.

With random headaches, unpredictable sleepiness, and swelling that springs up at its leisure, the sexiest thing I might pull off today is doing the dishes and cooking dinner. How’s that for titillating?

Amazon.com, be my valentine

To my dear Amazon.com,

I must say that our romance has come as a bit of a shock. I had no intentions of becoming involved in any more serious interactions. Alas, as the fates would have it, I felt a painful tingling in my arms. How could I ignore such a feeling? I was nearly driven to madness as I searched for a way to relieve the pain. But you, you stood out in the Google Shopping search results with your Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000. At nearly half the price of everyone else, you stood as a beacon-willing my debit card from my purse.

“How quickly you came!” I thought as the giant brown box appeared on my doorstep (four days before it was expected) It was a rapturous moment tearing through the package you’d sent.

Yet our affair didn’t end there. It was only beginning. Days later I ordered some camcorder tapes. I don’t even own a camcorder. They were for someone else in need, but I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Just yesterday, on the eve of a day where the nation takes time to recognize love, I had to rely on you again. My cell phone battery forsook me in ways you never would. Verizon wanted 40 bucks for a new battery. I doubt my phone is even worth that much. You, you came through again. You offered a battery for less than 4. Dependable and true!

I pray you continue to be good to me Amazon.com, as I believe you will. So with a full and humble heart, I ask you, will you be my valentine?

 

Love Always,

A satisfied customer

Thanks, Facebook, for proving I’m not a nurturer

Posted in Life by Ashley Franklin on February 11, 2011
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Every few weeks, I say to myself, “Maybe it’s time to start a family.” I mean, I”m not getting any younger. (Don’t get me wrong; I’m not super old either.) It never fails that in ten minutes or less, something happens to quickly make me rethink it. Sometimes it’s a snotty-nosed child throwing a tantrum on the floor for no apparent reason. Sometimes it’s an awesome moment with my husband that makes me think that I’m not quite ready to share him yet.

When one of those type moments are scarce, all I have to do is log in to Facebook. Remember when the “Make a Baby” app was popular? Hunny, I had like 5 kids. They were well fed, nicely clothed, and I worked hard picking out their names. I was in close contact with all of my “baby daddies.” My fervor lasted all of maybe 3 months. The ease of clicking the kids to happiness was short-lived. They grew up. They were temperamental. They took up more and more time. They were expensive. They were a pain in my butt. They ended up on doll mode.

Much, much later, I boarded the Happy Aquarium bandwagon. Every few hours I was cleaning, feeding, breeding, and decorating. My tanks were immaculate! I trained fish. I bought fish. I sold fish. I bought them larger tanks. Then the app got fancy. I was supposed to go on a treasure hunt, do something with shells, help out neighbors, etc. I was supposed to care too much for fake fish. I’ve had many a betta over the years that didn’t require as much effort. It’s been easily 4 months since I’ve logged into Happy Aquarium. I see the new gimmicks they regularly come up with, and I’m momentarily intrigued. Then the realization hits me that I”ll have to clean ALL of my tanks and feed ALL of those fish.  Yeah…no thanks.

Perhaps I should have known better. The days of my always-dying Little Mermaid Tamagotchi are definitely in the not-so-distant past. Maybe I should start on a Baby Alive, lol. Do they even still make those?

There’s no “i” in we

Posted in Life,Life changes by Ashley Franklin on July 3, 2010
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There’s no i in we, but there are two i’s in decision. I’ve been married for two months now. It’s not a long time in the grand scheme of life, but every married day has been an adventure. It’s a balancing act when you’re still learning yourself and you’re trying to learn someone else all at the same time. In moments of frustration, I’ve had to ask myself if I am really upset at him or myself. A surprising amount, I’ve found that I am usually upset with myself.

Our marriage motto: Teamwork makes the dream work. Yes, it’s trite, but it works. I’ve recently come to realize our motto needs a few sub-mottoes or a.k.a.s tossed into the mix (at least for me anyway). As a couple, you have to think like a couple and not two single people added together. Yeah, think about that. Let it simmer for a minute. It has taken some time to simmer with me, so I don’t mind waiting.

Sub- motto 1: There’s no i in team, but there are two i’s in decision.

My decisions don’t only affect me anymore. How I spend my money, how I ignore or stalk my credit, the attitude I’m sporting for the day, they all matter. We are legally and emotionally bonded.

Sub-motto 2: What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

I probably wouldn’t know what a gander is if it wasn’t for this saying. And now that I think about it, the phrase “take a gander” completely confuses me now. But, I digress. Neither one of us is better than the other. One of us may be slightly better at some things, but that doesn’t make that person better in totality. So in any situation, if something is good enough for him, it should be good enough for me (and vice versa).

Sub-motto 3: Feelings and opinions are like oil and water.

They tend not to mix well unless you’re making a cake. I’m super emotional. I’m super emotional to the point that I should probably have a warning label. Conversations don’t go too smoothly if you can’t express your feelings without getting bent out of shape and overly emotional at every other word.

These sub-mottoes are more for me than my hubby. I’m a detail person, so sometimes I need a little more to understand/function/be reasonable. Maybe these will change the longer we’re married. Maybe we won’t even need them anymore. Maybe we’ll be just that in tune with each other. Only time will tell, and I plan on enjoying the time it takes to figure it all out.

A Gift of Flowers

Posted in 1 by Ashley Franklin on March 24, 2010
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Did you ever get something small but it made your day just the same? About a week ago I received a white flower, freshly picked. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but being the sentimental chump that I am, it was to me. Not only did I get one flower, but I got two flowers. It made me think of a few clichés. You know them:
“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” “It’s the thought that counts.” “The best things in life are free.”

Can I really be this much of a sentimental sap? The last time someone gave me flowers was a few months ago. My pre-hubby, as I sometimes like to call him, sent me flowers to my job. It was the first time someone had ever done that for me. I felt extra special and the ladies at my job were super jealous (added bonus!). So where did I get these homegrown flowers? From my pre-hubby’s dad and little sister. I recently moved across the country, away from my immediate family. Huge transition! I’ve never had diamonds, but I’m sure they would be nice. Do I think they would be great enough to be my best friend? I’m not too sure about that. I like to communicate with my best friend. Last time I checked, diamonds don’t talk back. If anyone knows otherwise, please let me know.

That leaves the last two. I highly doubt that my pre-hubby comes from a family of mind readers.  And yes, the flowers were free. Two people freely thought to take a few minutes out of their day to pick a flower–for me! They didn’t have to. It’s nice to know that someone is thinking about you. The flowers were a small gesture with a big impact. Away from family, away from friends, far away from my old home, the flowers’ message was quite clear: Home is where the heart is, and the heart is full of love.

Love is an action causing verb

Posted in Aging by Ashley Franklin on December 30, 2009
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This year I want to make a New Year’s resolution that I can stick to. I want my resolution to be something that will not only better myself, but make a positive impact on someone else as well. While I do want to lose weight this year, to me, that’s not resolution worthy. I think a resolution should be something you can easily do but you still have to put effort towards. I don’t even remember what my resolution was for last year really. I do remember beginning the year with certain goals in mind, but they were goals I’d made for myself before the New Year. I guess it’s a good thing they weren’t resolutions because I didn’t adhere to a couple of them.

Last year I’d unofficially resolved to remain love abstinent. Thanks to a certain Southern gentleman, that didn’t quite happen. I must say, though, that I put up a good fight. Being in love this time around has been an eye-opener. It’s shown me what I’ve been missing, what I may have had and never known, and what I need. If nothing else, I’ve learned that love isn’t really an emotion. It’s a way of life. It’s an active way of life. Just like anything else you dedicate yourself to, you have to stay committed. Being an active participant in love has not always been easy. Anything really worth having is hardly ever easy.

I mean, what is love anyway? I’m sure Webster has a definition, but still. This past year, my definition of love has drastically changed. Love is hope, compassion, trust, fear, honesty, and faith. Love is everything that is good. It is everything that works towards being good. Love is everything but perfect.

I’ve found that it’s hard to love someone in a bubble. You can’t really be bitter towards or disinterested in the rest of the world and magically find the ability to fully love a single person. To love one person, you have to have some practice at loving others. Well, you should at least have a proven track record of being highly tolerable of others. (Sometimes it’s all about baby steps, you know.)

Why don’t I consider love an emotion? I think that would make love an effect. Aren’t emotions effects? They happen because something causes them, right? To me, that makes love seem too helter-skelter. I think love is methodical. You may not know it at first, but once you’re in it, you can look back and see the signs that it was coming. But if love isn’t an effect, that means it is a cause. The actions and efforts put forth between my Southern gentleman and myself are love. The effects? All those other overwhelming emotions that when we add them up, we name them love.

Thinking about my love life got me thinking. Maybe I could put this to use in other ways. Maybe there’s something to that love thy neighbor thing I’ve heard about so many times before. If I could tap into that same source of love that I discovered once I began talking to my Southern gentleman, just maybe I could transfer some of it towards others. It feels awesome loving my Southern gentleman. Imagine how great I could feel if I showed a little bit of love towards others (obviously not on the same level as I do him, but a little love just the same). Maybe I could add a few more smiles to the world. Smiles are a pretty good effect in my opinion. All I need to do now is figure out how to love others. A few kind words or a helpful hand seem like a nice start.

Love is a verb. It’s an action verb. Maybe you like that more than when I suggested it was a cause. Then again, maybe they could mean the exact same thing.  My resolution for this year is to love.