Quarterlife+


Why it was easy for me to stop going to church (Part 1)

Posted in Uncategorized by Ashley Franklin on July 17, 2015
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There is actually a crazy long reason as to why I so easily stopped going to church despite it being all I had ever known. Let’s be real. Ain’t nobody got time for all that! So, I offer them up to you, one at a time. Here goes:

Reason #1: I was only going out of habit (i.e. obligation).

I”m not sure about some of these kids nowadays, but when I was coming up, you went where your parents went by default when it came to religion. There weren’t options! Growing up, I went to church with my grandma because I lived with her. When I lived with my mom as a teen, I went to church with her and my stepdad. Why? I lived there and it was their church.

While some habits are hard to break, this wasn’t one of them. When you’re doing something that you’d rather not be doing for numerous years, it’s rather easy to stop and never look back. This is especially true if you know that you’re not having the same experience as those around you, which leads me to my next reason.

Reason #2: I was emotionally invested but not spiritually connected.

There’s nothing like good church music! With just a few notes, you can feel good about everything in your life or feel bad about everything in your life. It was joyous seeing people excited, praising, and worshiping at every service. It was depressing seeing (or sometimes being) the person at the altar snotty, wailing, and broken. How can I say that I was emotionally connected but not spiritually connected? I was always in the moment. After the moment passed, I didn’t feel a thing. I didn’t feel like my life was headed in a new direction. I didn’t feel burdens being shed. I felt like I’d had an experience for a few hours and that experience was now over.

I might as well have gone to the movies.

(I’ll leave it at this for now. What made me decide to talk about this now? I’m trying to write about other things, and this is taking up mental space. Besides, a little reflection never hurt anybody. I highly suggest it if you don’t do it already. I think it helps to know why you do and don’t do things. How about you?)

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There goes a spanker!

Posted in children,Life by Ashley Franklin on October 4, 2011
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To be completely racist and unintentionally racist at the same time, I’ve always found white people amazing for the most part-particularly white parents. Here’s why: I’ve never known any white people who got spanked as a child. I’ve been around white people my entire life-moreso than black people. While I’m sure that are some white parents who spank, just as I’m sure there are some black parents who don’t spank, I have not come into contact with any of them. How do they do it?

If you don’t know, I LOVE Katt Williams. One of my faves is when he says maybe black folk should stop beating their kids… publicly and does a bit about a mom beating her kid over the kid wanting some skittles.  (I’m telling you now, don’t click on that link if you’re sensitive to foul language. You’ve been warned.)

So my overarching question is this: how do you discipline your kids if you don’t spank them? Like, if you and your spouse both come from homes were spanking (or beating) was okay but decide it’s not for you, how on earth do you discipline your kids without going back to what you’re accustomed to? Having worked at a daycare, I’ve seen many a child laugh at time out, come out worse from it, and even give thankful praise for the privilege of having time to sit alone (that’s another story). 

So dear reader, were you spanked as a child, and if so, did you decide to spank your kids as well? If you’re not a spanker, how do you go about disciplining your child?If you haven’t had children yet, what’s your take? I’m just a little curious. 

Ramadan: Observation 2

Posted in Life,Random Experiences by Ashley Franklin on August 13, 2010
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Do you know how early 5am is? Well, think a little earlier than that, and that’s how early I’ve been up the last couple of days. I try to make sure that my husband eats breakfast before it’s time to start fasting. It’s the least I can do, in my opinion. It makes me feel involved. Well, if only I was a morning person. Unfortunately, I’m just not.

Despite having set my alarm clock, for 4:15, I managed to sleep through it and until 4:55. I jumped out of bed wondering how I could make a filling breakfast in 15 minutes or less. I turned all the burners on high and the result wasn’t that bad.  I managed to fix fried potatoes, oatmeal with pecans and raisins (not instant), and egg & cheese (with onions and peppers of course).

Dinner last night was equally as frantic. My husband and I had been scouring the land searching for curtains in the heat. It was well after 6pm when we got back, and dinner was still frozen. I conjured up a mini meal so he could break his fast–grapes, nuts, dates, grilled cheese. Around 8:30pm the real dinner was done–bbq chicken, green beans & potato salad.

Punctuality is obviously going to be key to me helping my husband. I don’t want him to have to worry about the source of his meals while he is fasting and working, especially since I work from home. I doubt that he is worrying about such things. It’s most likely me worrying if I’m going to be able to pull off a meal in a good amount of time on a hectic day. I’m sure everything will be fine with a little planning on my part.

The highlight from yesterday was that I started watching a movie called “The Message.” It’s about the birth of the Islamic faith. I watched about half of it yesterday and hope to finish it up later today. I’m really enjoying it.